Dunk The Hack

Last Updated on Tuesday, 24 November 2009 15:01

HAR! I eat alphabet soup and shit novels. I had an idea to help me increase my drinking and address the issue some fans brought up. They said, "Crites, ya don't inneractivate with yer fans enough!" To which I replied via email: "Ya mean, I never come to yer house and molested yer farm animals? Okay, yer on the list."

TOO LATE! YA MISSED YER CHANCE. TIME EXPIRED

Anyway, I'm thinking this one will be fun. Others have tried it—and failed. I, on the other hand, will actually write the damn thing.

Here's what we're going to do. You folks, (that means you) are going to suggest a book for me to write. By suggest I mean, a 100-200 word description of the book. You have a week to post your suggestion here in the comment field. Then I'll post a poll and you all can vote to choose which one I have to write.

But wait!!! It gets worse. You, I said YOU, get to post the short chapter descriptions for each chapter. And I have to write it that way and still keep the dang story flowing. And I gotta do it quick, a chapter every other day—and post it. Or, I move my head closer to the toilet in the image above. You beggars think I can't write about anything, I got some news — ya can't stump me!

example: one of you twisted fiends posts this as a plot synopsis; a hard working plumber must stop a band of internet spammers who plan to destroy youtube while fixing the clogged drains of the Microsoft executive toilets and fending off his girlfriends marriage entreaties.

Somehow, against all odds, it gets voted as the best and I gotta write it. (Bastitches) So I cuss and drink some rum. But yer part ain't over. Now you get to really screw me by posting the actual chapter outlines. It will be first posted wins for each chapter and you can only have one outline per ten chapters. This thing will run a lot of chapters because you people will do yer best to flummox me—I'm sure! Heh!

example: chapter one: introduce character, Harvey Whingknut who encounters a nasty clog in Bill gates toilet after receiving the the final marriage ultimatum from his beautiful girlfriend, Carly 'Sinlips' Serin. Unfortunately the toilet explodes.

See! Now I gotta write that crap in there somehow.

We get this done and each contributor will have their chapter synopsis leading off before each chapter in the book. You'll get full credit for being the jackass you are. Heh! Plus you'll get the book free. You can sign up by posting your plot suggestion below. If I don't get enough participants—I ain't doing it. Dig out yer thinking caps and see if you can Dunk The Hack!

If I don't have ten suggestions by Friday—the offer is closed and this post is archived. HAR! I'm stupid enough to actually do it, but I ain't stupid enough to leave it on the table flong enough for you to notice it's there.