CONTEST: Who the Hell is Kat Nove?
Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 November 2009 10:13
Kat here. Yes, I’m a real person and not the Hack in drag. If Global Swarming were a football team, I’d be second string. That’s partly the result of me being born without a penis and partly because this is Greg’s site, not mine. I have no plan to take it over when he’s passed out from drinking all that Captain Morgan. ALTHOUGH I COULD!
During the process of writing the book, Greg and I exchanged many emails. In one of them he mentioned we would be holding contests to give away free copies of the paperback. I don’t see any contests? Do you?
So the first contest is to see if over 90% of the Hack’s fans will vote Greg off the site and let me run it. Then I’ll win my very own FREE copy of Global Swarming!
Nah, that’s not the contest. Here’s the contest. If you can guess the EXACT reason I go by the pseudonym Kat Nove, you’ll win a FREE copy of Global Swarming. For obvious reasons I don’t write under my real name of Sheila Blige. My silly parents. Who knew they were prophets?The only rule is – you have to deduce or guess the EXACT reason. I know anyone who reads the Hack’s books must be intelligent, good-looking, and overall superior human beings, so I suspect this contest will be over soon. Put your thinking caps on (the ones with beer cans attached) and email your answers to me using the form below. Be sure to put Who the Hell is Kat Nove? in the subject line or I’ll think you’re spam trying to sell me products to make the penis I don’t have larger.
NOTE FROM THE HACK:
I have nothing to do with this. I don't even know why she calls herself Kat Nove. But she's gonna give a book to the first one who figures it out. Any problems, complaints, bitchin', whinin' etc. ad infinitum is her problem. Oh, and she wanted to put her real email address in here, ya know, like an open invite to every 12-year-old hacker in Pakistan to start bombarding her with Skin-So-Scaly miracle wrinkle cream offers. Out of pity I made the form, which already has Who the Hell is Kat Nove? in the subject line. So just make your guess and add the name and email then click submit. First one to guess wins. We'll let you know the winner as soon as we have one. If you're wrong she'll send an email making fun of ya. Now I made a form, and we all know how diffucult those suckers are, so I'm going back to drinking... I mean writing. OH! And somebody from Brazil just won a Hack DVD. Guess how they won... stumped? Well, they won because they're from Brazil. That's near the fraggin' Amazoon where I wish I was stranded. HAR! I'm gonna post a crossword puzzle I made and the firstt one to solve it wins a copy of the Global Swarming book.
Comments
You two were made for each other, do you know that?
I have no idea as to the contest. Couldn't venture a guess.
kat nove
I'm made for a foul-tempered, Captain Morgan-swilling giant who won't answer my questions? Hmmmm...if I lower my standards a bit, you could be right.
"Couldn't venture a guess" is the WRONG answer.
kat nove
oven kat (do you want to put your kat in the oven?)
Yeah, that's my best guess. I'm a sad little mess, I am...
kat 'new'
was it a way of renaming yourself, hence beginning fresh.
Oh, what the hell am I kidding, I JUST USED WIKIPEDIA; enough said.
Officially an idiot. ;)
"Bless your heart," Kat said in the true Southern tradition of indicating someone is an idiot.
I'm too moldy to start fresh, but as my regular readerS know, due to many of my stories, if I used my real name I'd be stripped of the right to do the corporate cheer (which involves Village People-type Y.M.C.A. hand gestures and then be fired.) Tempting, but I'm broke.
So, my answer to you is - WRONG!
You're CORRECT! I can't spell.
Nove is most of the word "novel", merely missing the 'ending' L.
As "Kat" is next to "Nove", I am considering Kat 'with' Nove.
I know that you have been involved in NaNoWriMo as you mention that you met The Hack at one of the events.
So my guess is (Hope the tense is correct):
Situation:
You were part of a NaNoWriMo event and could not bring the story to completion, extendig well beyond the required length.
Meaning:
Killed A Tree with a never ending novel
Probably wrong, but I like it :)
Bo
Bo,
You're not the only one who likes it! Extremely inventive and proof that The Hack readers are more intelligent than the average reader and rocket scientists compared to readers of the Twilight Series.
Unfortunately it's wrong, but Crites should give you something for such an entertaining guess. I'm thinking maybe his truck.
You forgot to mention trampy women.
Ask Crites to fix this form to allow edits. Then you can listen to him scream at you about what a pain in the ass you are! He did that to me, but after writing Global Swarming with him I was used to it.
As for hitting the send button and THEN noticing errors, do what I always do.
Blame the cat and/or bifocals.