No You Can't Have It Printed Copies Arrived
Boxes of printed No You Can't Have It arrived today. No, you can't get them on Amazon... or anywhere else. There is nothing wrong with your Internet. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are now controlling the transmission. We control the horizontal and the vertical. We control the distribution. Har! Anyway, get 'em here.
|NYCHI The Paperback! Cost is $12.00 Shipping Included US Buyers Only. Signed. Plus includes a download link to the audiobook.||SOLD OUT|
If you are International use the contact form to request a quote for shipment.
It's here, the audiobook! Written by Robert Tacoma get the kindle version at Amazon, get the e-pub version at smashwords.com, get the audiobook here, and check out the authors other works at www.tacobob.com
Read by... The Hack!
If Possum County wasn't the smallest, poorest, and dustiest county in Texas, they probably wouldn't have a sheriff like Skunk Johnson. But they do, and the new sheriff is out to prove he's up to the challenge when he finds himself with an unusual murder on his hands. During the investigation, Sheriff Skunk discovers that even in the Badlands of Texas, greed can run deeper than a man with high moral standards and a respect for the letter of the law can deal with. Fortunately, Skunk isn't that kind of man, and for once in his life he just might be in the right place at the right time...
“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”
|Complete, unexpurgated 5-hour audiobook $5.99 INSTANT DOWNLOAD
HAR! Another funny book by Robert Tacoma is headed yer way! I laughed out loud when I got to a part about watches.
DIRECT DOWNLOAD One, Two, and THREE HERE:
Get Dunkin One Audiobook FREE
In order to hook another horde on the Dunkin series, you can have it FREE. This is the original recording and my first attempt to narrate an audiobook. Over One-Million episodes of Dunkin have been downloaded, enjoyed, and lured unsuspecting listeners to find Dunkin Two, and the other 18 novels I have written and narrated. Just click the Paypal button, enter dunkin in the coupon code, check your email for a download link, download the file, enjoy.
|Use coupon Code: dunkin||You will recieve a link via email to download the 8-hr audiobook.
Remember, the order to read or listen to this four-book trilogy is:
Dunkin One - Dunkin the Vampire Slayer, Something Porcine This Way Comes
Dunkin Two - Dunkin the Vampire Slayer, Death Rides Pale, Pink, Porcine Horse
Devlin Abnormal Investigations Case File: The Hell Hermit
Dunkin Three - Dunkin the Vampire Slayer, It Ain't Over Til the Fat Man Stings
Dunkin, a 450 lb vampire slayer has been around a long time. He has plenty of secrets behind his body's girth or 'Vein Armor' as he calls it. An accident brings Dunkin together with several slightly dysfunctional characters. Together they go on an undead hunting expedition that starts in sunny Florida and works its way down the Amazon in South America. The first book in a trilogy.
Seventeen chapters, about 4 hours. Priced at three-bucks. It's SciFi. Forcefields and stuff. No humor. Plus, there's more cussing than usually found in my books. So, yer forewarned.
|Audiobook version. Instant Download Three-Bucks! 3.5 hours
|E-book for Kindle .99
|E-book for other devices .99||Smashwords|
Well, one of my books has been officially optioned for a movie. I got paid, so I'm announcing it in hopes you buy more books to cash in on when I'm famous. HAR! I ain't mentioning the book or the company, but I got paid. So, I got rum. Nuff said.
On another note, my microphone quit a month or two ago, so I bought another one. That bastard worked okay, but I had to do cartwheels and fuckin' backflips before the computer saw it was there. I'm not shittin; ya! I had to perform this voodoo series of clicks using the audio/midi utility, the system preferences and Garageband Prefs before the fucker showed up. I recorded three eps one time and it wasn't recording. Pissed me off, as you can imagine. I'm kinda short-fused. Anyway, I bought this Blue Yeti (see pic) and I could use your opinion on the sound, since I'm usually drunk and can't tell.
So, I give you a few chapters of a new book I'll be releasing. It also is not humorous. It's a more grim science fiction type thing. It ain't a long book. It used to be. Here's the story. My power supply died on my writing noteboook a couple years ago. While I was waiting for a replacement to arrive, I actually wrote this book, by hand, on fraggin' paper, while I waited. When the power supply came in I started typing it. Got bored after typing half of it, lost the damn notebook (still can't find the friggin' thing) and had to write it again. Well, I was in what I call, my overly-fuckin'-descriptive period. I was writing shit just to enjoy the sound of my own words. Well, I cut all that out. I'm left with a novella. Should run 3.5 to 4 hours. Cost will be three-bucks. Here's a sample.
Here's a pic of the new Microphone. It's a big bastard. Have not figured it out yet, but it shows up and records without a bunch of damn manual settings. Let me know how it sounds—I'm drinkin'.
DIRECT DOWNLOAD chapters 1-4 HERE:
DIRECT DOWNLOAD chapters 5-7 HERE:
Devlin 5, First Draft—Complete!
Since many have emailed wondering, yes, I been silent. Screwing off. Drinking. Did manage to finish 'I Am NOT Your Enemy' it can be bought here.
I'm happy to announce Devlin 5, Devlin Does D.C. is written. Now I gotta relax (drink) Edit (drink) and refine (drink some more) Then I'll begin recording.
If anyone is interested in me NOT posting sample audio chapters here as they are readied, don't bother to comment. I don't care, I'm gonna post 'em anyway.
I am currently recording another book by Robert Tacoma entitled 'Sheriff Skunk'. It's another funny one.
I'm not on the boat yet because I drink all my money away. As I possess the discipline of a wino on blood-donation day, I'm now anticipating I will be on the ocean just in time for 'Burial At Sea'. HAR!
Now, I've checked in. Time to drink.
P.S. Apple sucks. (the assbag company, not the delicious fruit)
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