HackHosting Launches

Last Updated on Monday, 16 November 2009 18:42

Ya know, I need to drink more. And despite my furious writing and legions of fans, I can't afford to move onto the leaky sailboat of my dreams. So, I'm launching a two-phase entremanurial effort to insure my future rum supply. That's right, HackHosting is here.

Ya like this site? Well, I can build and host ya one similarly loaded with goodness and features. Oh, and it'll be better organized than this one. Ya all know I flat don't give a crap. I post what I want whenever I want. I hide most of my stuff. Ya gotta be worthy to buy my books. Like yer on a quest—a quest to get ripped off by The Hack. HAR!

HackHosting is phase one, phase two is the veinarmor publishing expansion.I'm gonna be accepting submissions for publication. Only good shit that I enjoy. I'm building a kick-ass indy book shopping site with instant downloads of audio and ebooks. I will be offering publishing services for those who want to go it on their own. These include ISBN, cover and copy formatting, cover creation, and printing. The printing will be much cheaper than my competitors because all I have is a two-by-four and no business sense.

One thing ya can count on, I ain't in this to rip off the public. If yer book sucks—I'll tell ya. If ya annoy me, no amount of cash or rum can make me work with ya. My prices are cheap—cheaper than ya could imagine. If I like the book, I'll peddle it alongside mine. If you want to hire me to do an audiobook, get me drunk enough and we can arrange that.

I ain't peddling no pie-in-the-sky illusions. You ain't getting rich! I don't care how great yer book is. There's a small (picking the right six numbers in the powerball lottery) chance your book went viral and sold like federal snake oil—but DON'T count on it. I can point ya to New York Times articles, agents, and publishing pundits written statistics, which are: 95% of ALL authors don't sell out their first print run! That's right, all authors. The average first print run is 3000 copies. I'm in the top five per-cent. HAR! You ain't gonna make a living in this gig. I work my ass. I write staggeringly beautiful novels of everlasting litrachur—and I'm still having to start this sideline.

So, if ya need a complicated site or a simple blog, go here: webhosting    It's not complete yet, but I'm working on it. In between writing new crap, and drinkin'.

Some of you are wondering, "why does he keep mentioning drinking? That's not very professional."

Glad you asked. This is a strategy designed to drive away all the anal-retentive, cloyingly annoying, halfwits I would not want to do business with in the first place. It keeps the idiots away.

You want a simple wordpress blog? 12 months—$48.00 bucks—total cost... Well, ya gotta get yerself a domain name (like veinarmor.com) which is ten bucks a year, and Ill show ya how to do that.