Dunkin III Clarification

Last Updated on Thursday, 27 August 2009 18:09

  Since I continue receiving emails requesting clarification of the Dunkin III strategy, here is an in-depth explanation.

When The Hack first decided to hold Dunkin III hostage to the sales goal of 3000 he was sure it was a simple marketing lark. A lark that would be over in a month or thereabouts. That 3000 sales were easily achievable when the legions of fans who used iTunes to download the complete series of Dunkin 1 and 2 ventured to veinarmor.com and found the glorious delights to be had for a measly six-bucks.

Alas, it’s been several weeks and we are only a third of the way to our goal. A burgeoning malaise has overtaken his spirit. A debilitating depression worse than the weight of a 1000 self-help books has settled upon The Hack’s shoulders. His writing has suffered. Instead of awakening from a near-comatose state due to the previous evenings rum consumption, laughing while gazing upon the words he’d written while in that magical mental miasma of inebriation, he now awakens to the desolate landscape of the blank page. Oh the humanity!

He suffers from blockage worse than that engendered by overindulgence in microwave burritos. His typing fingers have atrophied from disuse. The letters on the keyboard resemble little more than ancient Mayan glyphs. Their meaning incomprehensible.

Verily, even the full bottles of Sailor Jerry rum aligned against his desk have lost their appeal. No longer do they transmit their psychic siren song of beckoning. Indeed! They remain full. Their caps sealed.

The Hack is sober...

And as he has often threatened, “if I am sober too Long, I will write a romance novel.”

And this is what it has come to. With a tear in his eye the Hack leans over his keyboard, despondent, redolent with the trite storyline of romantic entanglement, gnarled fingers perched... perchance to dream.

HAR!  I had ya going.  You was feeling sorry for the Hack. Buy some damn downloads so I can quit answering questions about Dunkin III.