Friday Jul 30

SUPERCRAPTACULAR GCC CLUB

You want entertainment? You enjoy The Hack's work? Then here's the deal. Get the  supercraptacular GCC club DVD with eight full-length novels and ten full length audiobooks as read by The Hack himself.

The DVD is limited to 999 copies AND THE DISK IS SIGNED & NUMBERED

I don't submit to outside companies. So, I control access to my work and thus am destined to remain unknown except for a few thousand of you intelligent, attractive, and discerning fans. (Crimany! I should sell used cars.)

Anyway, for 24.95 you get the dvd that's loaded with my work. Just look at the hours of entertainment! Gas burns at 12-bucks an hour—by enjoying these stories, you should save nearly four-hundred bucks in fuel costs alone! All for less than the price of a single hardcover from a real writer...ahem...ackk.

There are only 999 copies of this DVD on the entire earth. When they're gone, I'm gone... drinkin'. Plus, and this is the importanat part: ALL DVD OWNERS WILL ALWAYS GET THE AUDIOBOOKS FOR 6-BUCKS. Forever. And I am going to raise the prices someday to better reflect the amount of hard work and alcohol that goes into producing these.

 

 GET-EM-ALL!!!

Shipped direct to yer door, a completely worthless DVD containing all manner of crap. Plus, you get an immediate download of Zane Sickle. All the audiobooks, the PDF's, the nonsense. $24.95

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Comments 

 
0 # jennydk 2009-03-09 16:54
This is the best money I have ever spent. I have had more hours of laughs and entertainment than I can count! Crites did us a favor with this deal and I appreciate it. The Hack has a style all his own and the humor with which he delivers his amazing stories if worth more than I could say. I am an avid reader, but Crites has transformed me into an avid listener as well. If only those high priced, run of the mill writers on the stands now had one - one hundreth of his talent and abilities the world would be truly blessed. I eagerly await anything Crites writes of reads for us, and I cannot say that about any other writers working today.
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0 # ndg 2009-08-14 01:21
Crap! Paypal decided I wanted to pay $24.95 Australia dollars not US $! Plus I figure you'll want a bit more cash for the postage so please lemme know how much more i should be donating to you to. I think $25 U$ is about $30 australian. In fact, just tell me how much extra in US dollars and I'll work it out.

WANT CRAPTACULAR DVD NOW!
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0 # ndg 2009-08-14 01:27
Wow, something is deleting all the numbers from my post you get the general drift tho. I'm keen to give you money for your hackery.
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0 # gcc 2009-08-14 02:20
Hey, NDG! Thanks for buying! I don't care what you paid as long as you didn't pay more than I was charging. Either way you're getting ripped off. HAR! Ya rube! This thing with numbers not showing up has me concerned.

Test 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 90

$29.99 54,000 I've had about enough of this comment system. Been nothing but trouble since I installed it. I'm gonna find some new comment system. Maybe try disqus?

Anyway, BIG thanks! I'm writing more crap to stain yer brain.
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0 # ndg 2009-08-15 16:33
Stained brain? Sweet! I was so tired of the boring two-tone grey white interior decor. So, I paid the total amount -twenty four ninety five - in AU$. My fault - when I selected the button, it let you pay in AU$ if you want, and I thought it would convert the amount too. I would still like to pay the extra (even though you recon this Crites character is perpetrating a rip-off and putting a boot up my arse - because I want him to be able to continue this stuff full time. I also bought thecomic adventurer one and devlin 2.

So can I just donate $5 somewhere?

Also, please do tshirts or bowling shirts or something. An Agent double-oh-footupyerass shirt, or a crappy tropical hawaiin shirt with a mushroom cloud on it or something. Or maybe "Dunkin eats Buffy for breakfast, then has left-overs for morning tea". Or something.

PS: I've heard disqus is good, but most hype i've been hearing is from people who moved their whole site to Square Space. Free trial and easy to migrate. I have no financial interest in Square Space.
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0 # gcc 2009-09-05 12:13
I like Dunkin eats Buffy! HAR! You shou;ld be helping me write these things! Thanks, sir! I'm gonna work to keep us laughing! Greg
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0 # gourdk 2009-09-04 19:51
Well I said I was going to do it so I'm getting it. Enough talkinking about it. I am an avid lisltener pimp your verbal ejaculations you call books at every opertunity so I want them all. Thanks for ranting you bastage.
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0 # gcc 2009-09-05 12:10
Gourd! Hey, I named the next Devlin novel after you. HAR! The Gourd of Destiny. Thanks, sir! I appreciate yer complete lack of good taste in litrachur! Greg
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0 # bubba pain 2009-10-29 17:47
You helped me out alot back in december when I was in the hospital for a few days my fiance courtney bought me the scdvd thanks so much for all your work you are the funniest damn authors ive ever read! and I am 6'5" and 450#s and pink and bald am I really a giant?
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0 # chiun 2009-10-29 18:08
Dude! Thank you! And yeah, yer a giant... an intellectual giant! HAR! Ya got the good sense to read the work of a natural-born idjit and laugh. Glad to hear yer out the hospital—them places will screw you up. And rest assured, the money spent on that DVD went to a good cause—rum. Now get some sun, rub some rogaine on yer head, and keep smilin'!
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0 # Mark Brown 2009-12-26 12:09
Just bought yer DVD of all your wonderful absurd crap. I love it! I found it on iTunes one day searching for somethin new. I said to myself, " What the hell is this crap?! " Later I downloaded a chapter to see what is was cause I needed something new to listen while on the truck route. Now I can't get enough! Maybe now you can afford a new microphone! Har!, back at ya. Keep drinkin and writin!

Woof
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0 # chiun 2010-01-04 10:21
If I didn't spend all the money on booze I could get a new mic—but I'd still sound just as bad. HAR! Glad to hear ya enjoy my nonsense and if ya ever haul liquor, email me... I mean it. email. I love ya man in a drunken Budweiser commercial sorta way.
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0 # eric138 2010-01-02 12:51
Get a new mic or stand back from it or something... I love the work but some of the audio is all over the place! Keep at it, this is great stuff.
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0 # chiun 2010-01-04 10:03
Quoting eric138:
Get a new mic or stand back from it or something... I love the work but some of the audio is all over the place! Keep at it, this is great stuff.

Erkle, I got a forty dollar mic, which I blow up all the time, and a lack of patience; the audio ain't never gonna get better as long as I'm making it. I would use one a them multi-million dollar publishing outfits but I'm a bit too coarse for their sensibilities. Thank ys, sir! Greg
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0 # bandit 2010-02-01 10:28
I can't wait, how long until I get my precious DVD. I wants it now.
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0 # arsehole — TheWC 2010-02-20 23:41
god i love you in a budwieser commerial sorta way. I can't thank you enough for all your druken creative works. You sound talk and write just like my friend Larry who drank himself to death. when I listen to your works of drunken insanity i am always transported back to Larry who was a 6'5" burly bear of a man. Our favorite saying when ever someone irrated us was "what the hell man you couldn't find a building tall enough to jump from so you came and f##ked with Larry. Thanks for all you do for us. and I'll be getting me one of those dvd's as soon as I can spare the Fighting Cock whiskey money HAR!
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0 # RE: arsehole — chiun 2010-03-03 13:48
Well, sounds like Larry and I would have gotten along well. Of all the ways to check out, I'm thinking drinking is as good as any and better'n most. Keep laughing cuz it's good for tonsil health.
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0 # Gramps — Tim 2010-03-03 13:25
Do you still sell books made from dead trees and if so, where do I find them? All I see are 'podcasts' and since podcasts are clearly the work of Satan, Sauron, The Green Goblin, Montgomery Burns, and, chillingly, IT people, I do not wish to partake. Yes, I know, I know....grampa misses his vellum parchements...but I do. And don't even mention 'kindle' to me.

I've never read any of your...um..."books"...but Scott Sigler speaks highly of you, so I figure I can't go wrong. That is, unless, everything you do requires me to cram a little piece of plastic in/over my ear.

Or, I can just go back to watching netflix and the occasional yelling at clouds. Meh.

PS: turn that noise down.
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0 # RE: Gramps — chiun 2010-03-03 13:42
Tim,
Books are a pain in the keister. Ya either have too many laying around, or you don't have any. There's no fraggin' happy place! I print a few occasionally, then they sell out and I spend months considering the ramifications of printing more of them. This pondering requires heavy drinking to ensure I am approaching the matter with the diligence it deserves. Then I forget about printing for a few months. I have been known to suffer heat prostration and print a few copies in the summer. So, in answer to your question, nope, no books on hand right now. Sold out. Possibly May I will become feverish enough to print more.
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0 # RE: SUPERCRAPTACULAR GCC CLUB — TheWC 2010-03-03 22:42
I got all that crap from you in about 5 days, maybe less who the fraggin knows but it was quick, only disappointment was not all were audiobooks. I am an avid reader but I prefer to listen to your books in your own voice and style cause your a fantastic story teller. What the hell I'll still read them though you bastage.
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0 # I know I'm not smart but.... — Doug 2010-03-28 09:44
So which audio books are on this disk???? all of them, or just the ones listed in the picture? I need to hear your work n that melodious voice of yours... and if I have to buy the ones that aren't free separately I will!!!!
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0 # Woof woof ........ woof! — Cynical Bastard 2010-05-24 13:33
Had my supercraptacula r dvd for weeks now ... freakin' hell but I missed out on a ton of seriously funny stuff.

Screw the pdfs (and all that ebook shite), all I wanted were the audiobooks - hell, it amuses me to scare the crap outa people during my 'commute' by suddenly busting out laughing like a drain.

My head is a happy place, for a while!
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