Snuggler’s Blues

Last Updated on Monday, 29 November 1999 18:00

Veinarmory-Blog - Song Parody

To enjoy this, it must be sung to the tune of Smuggler’s Blues by Glen Frey made famous in the 80’s on Miami Vice. I have, of course, changed the words for comic effect. View table of contents…

There’s trouble on the stools tonight,
I can feel it in my bones.
I had a premonition,
I’d be going home alone.
I knew the quip was loaded,
But I didn’t think she’d spill.
Everything exploded,
And her words got awful shrill.
Said baby, here’s your answer,
sit, no need to stand.
Here’s a little news flash,
it’s not what you had planned.
I’d rather have my tooth pulled,
than hold your freakin’ hand.

It’s always going down like this,
It’s me that has to lose,
It’s the nature of the single’s bar,
It’s the Snuggler’s blues.
Snuggler’s Blues

The dancers and the models,
The escorts with the claws,
The ’screw off’s and the ‘F*** off’s,
And the things that rub me raw.
No matter if the hair is black, blonde, brown or red,
You’ve got to carry trojans
or your ass could wind up dead.
There’s lots of shady operators,
Lots of four inch heels.
Ev’ry name’s an alias,
and every Candy squeals.
It’s the lure of easy lovin,
It’s gotta very strong appeal.

Perhaps you’d understand my position
As I slowly cruise,
It’s the ultimate enticement,
It’s the snuggler’s blues,
Snuggler’s blues.

See it in your trousers,
lookin stiffer ev’ry day.
You look down and say ’stop it’,
But it doesn’t go away.
You move it through a playboy, to websites where you pay,
nothing seems to satisfy,
you guess its here to stay.
It’s propping up your trousers in the mornin’ when you pee,
You’re wavin’, screamin’ down boy,
but that eye, it just don’t see,
From the office to the singles bar,
you heed it’s mournful plea.

When it changes its position,
takes a stand you can’t refuse.
It’s time to find a prostitute,
It’s the snuggler’s blues,
Snuggler’s blues.