Interview with Future Bestselling Authors Kat Nove and Jeni Decker

Last Updated on Thursday, 28 April 2011 17:03

GREG: Some of ya might be familiar with Kat Nove co-author of Global Swarming and major pain in my ass for the last few years. She’s hooked up with a writer who I suspect will soon be another pain in my ass, Jeni Decker.

KAT: Excuse me, Greg. I don’t mean to interrupt, but I’m straight and Jeni is married with lesbian tendencies. We haven’t hooked up.

JENI: (to Kat) And you felt the need to elaborate on that point, because?

KAT: I’m just saying, we’re not -

GREG: I don’t have time for yer nonsense, Kat. There’s a bottle of Captain Morgan waiting.

KAT: Half empty is more like it.

GREG: Kat and Jeni COLLABORATED on Waiting for Karl Rove, a book filled with a lot of left-wing twaddle, but I have to admit it’s damn funny; especially the chapter about Jeni and the stripper pole.

JENI: Tits: use ‘em or lose ‘em, I always say.

GREG: How did the two of you meet?

KAT: Same place you and I met. TheNextBigWriter. So I have you to thank for hooking us up since you encouraged me to join that website.

GREG: I thought you said you weren’t lesbians.

KAT: Jeni, do we dare hope that Greg harbors secret fantasies about us?

JENI: I am pretty sure he already does. I know one of his podcasts plus my handy-dandy Happy Tongue and a few D-cell batteries could keep me warm at night - should the need arise…Greg has the sexiest voice.

KAT: If you like the sound of drunken pirates.

JENI: I do.

GREG: Who came up with the idea for the book?

JENI: Me. I’m the brains behind this operation.

KAT: More like the mammaries behind this operation. I didn’t want to do it. I’ve been inches away from Karl Rove and my skin actually crawled. I didn’t like the idea of pissing off someone that powerful who lives down the road.

JENI: I have no issue with pissing people off.

KAT: We’ll see if you still feel that way if Karl Rove ever moves from Texas to Michigan.

GREG: Who came up with that title?

KAT: I get to take a little credit for that. Jeni initially called it Searching for Karl Rove, but I thought the play on words worked.

GREG: What play on words?

KAT: Waiting for Godot – Waiting for Karl Rove. Get it?

GREG: Oh, litrachur. So you consider your book to have literary merit, do ya?

JENI: Well, if you take out all the poop and hemorrhoid jokes.

KAT: Don’t forget the jokes about boobs.

JENI: Yeah, boobs.

KAT: Jeni’s obsessed with her hemorrhoids, so unfortunately they play a greater role in the book than I’d like -

JENI: If I have to live with ‘em, so do you.

GREG: What’s this book about?

KAT: It’s a road trip story. Think Thelma and Louise - only Thelma is menopausal -

JENI: She’s Thelma…

KAT: (glares at Jeni) ..and Louise is an erratic big mouth with a penchant for discussing her -

GREG: Yeah, I think we got it.

JENI: And they’re on a mission to wrestle an apology from Karl Rove by any means necessary.

KAT: That’s really all you need to know.

GREG: That's MORE than I needed to know. Now everyone get yer lazy asses over to Amazon and buy this book so these two harpies will quit bugging me. Cya!